This is Pam, Arthur and Viv’s youngest daughter.
I went to work in Kenya in 1998 to fulfil a lifelong ambition of being a Volunteer with Voluntary Services Overseas.  There were over 100 volunteers from the UK, Ireland and Holland there at that time, and we nicknamed it Valentine Services Overseas because so many volunteers and co-workers found partners.

Patrick and I met in 1999, when he arrived to teach in Kenya and shortly after the Millennium New Year, we got engaged. We decided to get married in Kenya because all of our mutual friends were there, and we didn’t want to wait, but unfortunately Mum and Dad couldn’t come for health reasons. I came home to tell them our news and also told them about our ‘Wedding Committee’, which was a group of our local friends, colleagues and co-workers who would help us organise our big event. So Dad, wanting to make sure things followed his exacting standards, presented me with a hand written ‘How to Plan a Wedding’ toolkit to share with them  – it had a contents sheet which included ‘Guests’, ‘Transport’, ‘Food’, ‘Venue’, and then a hand written sheet for each section so it numbered around 20 pages, all neatly handwritten – it must have taken hours and looked like a real labour of love.

When Pat and I brought it to our Wedding Committee - which included the local Town Council’s Treasurer (who was a Muslim elder) and the headteacher of Patrick’s school, as well as my manager, Monica, and her husband and the elders of both their families – there was a collective gasp, and the sheets were passed round with reverence and the details were pored over.

In the months before the event, my Dad's notes were often referred back to, because he was classed as an elder, and therefore his words were to be respected and revered. There was a real appreciation of the effort he had taken to do this and I was often asked ‘What would your Dad think?’

The cherry on the cake was when Kath, my sister, arrived in Kenya to be my ‘best woman’, and to represent the family; she brought a ‘Father of the Bride’ speech which she gave on Dad’s behalf in front of 400 people,  whilst it was simultaneously being translated into Kiswahili and Kikamba languages
We still have the original video, which we shared with the family when we got back late in 2001, and there is a picture on Mum and dad's wall of Kath making the speech and Dad’s handwritten toolkit is still treasured, carefully folded inside our wedding album.